Damon Wong

Too lazy to submit an actual Bio, Damon pasted an excerpt from his rejected Match.com  personals ad:

“I’m a 34 year old 5’8” heterosexual Asian-American male… well… heterosexual by technical default.  I’ve never had homosexual thoughts in my life, but I wouldn’t discount that certain future circumstances could possibly convince me into gayness… such as a long stint in prison… or maybe there’s a guy that looks like a really hot woman and has a nice personality and a clever sense of humor… maybe then.  I mean, there are plenty of females out there that I would never ever touch even if humanity’s future existence depended on it!  Take for example, if I were captured by terrorists and forced to chose between intercourse with Ewan McGregor or Rosanne Barr… I’d be making hot monkey love with Mr. McGregor… (“wtf kinda terrorists are you guys?!”) Would that put me in the category of gay?  I’d like to think our society would make an exception to those pending circumstances.  (“I did it for our country!”)  I just know, if I became gay, I’d request to do all the of the humping… not because I’m selfish in bed.  No… it’s just that I have this hemorrhoid condition and it would be like making love with a woman in the midst of her menstrual cycle… and I’ve done that before and it ain’t pretty…

I like long walks on the beach, Woody Allen films, gangster rap, and Hawaiian slack-key guitar music.  My full time job is working in children’s educational animated television shows.  Looking for woman shorter than me.  Please e-mail me back if interested.